500 Tacos: S.H Donuts

 
 
A taco a day for 2015 — and then some
 
S.H Donuts
5313 Manor Road, Austin (map), 512-926-6094. Hours: 5am-1pm daily
 
By Mike Sutter | © Fed Man Walking | 08.15.15
 
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, getting breakfast tacos at a doughnut shop is insanity. Lined up by the dozens in open-air display cases, doughnuts abide. Tacos do not. And that’s how they roll at S.H Donuts, with soggy, pre-rolled tortillas lined up like catacomb relics, oozing eggs and cheese and third-shift breakfast meats. Tacos have the half-life of a daydream. To leave them lying in state in a glass display case is just ... insanity.
 
The taco: Bacon, egg and cheese
A wet flour tortilla that sticks to its tissue like a warning label. Scrambled eggs with slick white chunks like yesterday’s boiled eggs. Limp, undercooked bacon that still somehow tastes burnt. The barest DNA of cheese. Warm it up in a microwave. Weep. ($1.69)
 
 
 Appetite for destruction: Potato, egg and cheese is only slightly better, with salty starch replacing the bacon’s flabby regret. The sausage, egg and cheese taco I pointed to and ordered? As if to mock me, it’s yet another one with bacon. The same body, just stacked in the wrong graveyard. ($1.69 each)
 Tortillas: Gummy storebought flour, saturated by hold times and microwaves.
 Salsa: To complete the “what’s wrong with this picture” scenario: “Picante Sauce” from a squeeze pack.
 Time to mock the doughnuts: I ordered tacos at a doughnut shop. Fool me once. I ordered doughnuts at a doughnut shop. Fool me twice. Glazed, chocolate frosted, cake, apple fritter. Each one of them was dense and damp, as if they were sponges used to soak up the fryer grease instead of cooking in it.
 A reason to come back?: It’s a rare and disconsonant thing to see such happy, helpful people in service to such disconsolate food. One S-H story: In the sauna of a summer morning, the AC was out. As I dripped sweat onto my glasses while I ate, a staffer took a fan that had been cooling the lobby and turned it around to blow in my direction, then waited for eye contact to see if it helped. It did.
 More doughnut shop tacos: KC Donuts, Donut Taco Palace III
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The 500 Tacos Project
 
 
(Photos by Mike Sutter © Fed Man Walking)